This week I'll be mostly finding scary stuff in the fridge

Blimey, it don't 'arf reek in there.

About 6 months ago I had a month off work (with a "fractured cortex" according to a certain recruitment agent). I came back to Jersey after 4 weeks to find what can only be described as a "hideous pong" coming from the fridge.

(When I say 'can only be described as', that's not strictly true. It could, in fact, be described in a number of ways, starting from "disagreeable aroma" and "unpleasant bouquet", right up to "nauseating reek" and "repugnant stench". To be fair to the smell, it was on a par with "vile putrid hum of fetid dingo's kidneys").

It turned out that a five week old half-used carton of milk was to blame. I duly poured the offending milk down the sink (when I say 'poured' I actually mean 'mashed rancid lumps of'), and set about trying to get the smell out of the fridge. I started by just leaving the door open for a bit, moved on to wafting a napkin about in there, attempted scooping the air out with my bare hands and finally resorted to putting a huge stash of lemons chopped in half on the top shelf.

6 months later the smell had almost gone. Fast forward to this week...

I bought a couple of peppers and decided the best place to put them would be in one of the fridge drawers that I've never used. I opened the drawer and lo and behold, what I imagine was once also a pepper, sat in the drawer in a pool of primeval soup, looking up, blinking in the fridge-light, and said "Hello, I'm a new species. Sorry about the smell. Have you got any deodorant?" I almost peuked into the fridge. Then I composed myself and told the pepper-thing that I was pleased to meet it and if it would let me escort it into a plastic bag and down to the communal bins I would introduce it to some new friends.

3 days later the smell has completely gone. Funny that.