This week I'll be mostly hurting in places I didn't know I had

Blimey, that don't 'arf hurt.

Let's get the Wii jokes over and done with then... I've been having a wii. I've been wiiing all weekend. I only stopped for a few minutes to have a p00. The only time I wasn't wiiing was when I was sliiiiping.

Yep, chez Foster we have a Wii. This surely is the future of games consoles. Everyone should have one. It should be the law. This isn't just pressing buttons. This is actually playing the games. It's like actual sport but without all that mucking about with membership fees, having to wear white soled trainers, and remembering to bring the deodorant.

Instead you have a Wii Mii. Your Wii Mii is a little computerised you (or should that be 'yoo') who turns up when it's your turn to tee off and takes your shot for you, or does your bowling, or can be someone else's Wii Mii's tennis partner.

But here's the problem: Wii Mii doesn't get tired out. Wii Mii plays 10 frames of bowling and bobs about on the screen grinning (or frowning in the case of my Wii Mii) apparently saying "can I have another go?" Wii Mii finishes a round of golf and wants to go straight back to the 1st hole and start again. Wii Mii plays 3 sets of tennis and doesn't even break a sweat. Wii Mii rides a cow bare-back flat out down a track knocking over scarecrows and jumping hurdles and doesn't even bat an eyelid.

But all this time 'wee you' is getting more and more knackered. As a result, I've now got a dodgy wrist from the bowling, a dodgy knee from the golf, a dodgy thumb from the baseball and a severe case of tennis elbow, tennis upper arm, tennis shoulder, tennis calf and tennis ankle.

Yep, this is the future of games consoles. And it hurts.